Went to my mom's today to tell the family..they were all crazy excited and said they knew..or suspected it...whatever. I feel super shitty today, i haven't eaten anything in 2 days. TWO DAYS! that's far too long to go without any food. If i'm not going to feel better until the second trimester i still have over a month to feel like this. I have no idea how me and a baby are supposed to survive on no food.
We've been waiting for a week to receive the results of my blood work so that can be our proof that i'm pregnant for medicaid...i finally got something in the mail today and all it said was to call and make an appointment due to abnormal labs...WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!? i mean, seriously??!? do they know who they're telling this to? A super scared, worrying, first time mom...you can't just send something off and make them wait for a stupid appointment. I have a million things going through my head..what could be so abnormal that they need to me to come all the way back there?!? and what is even considered abnormal??? ughhhh i got so worried earlier that i could do nothing but cry. Since i have no idea what to think or expect i feel like i should no longer continue to get attached to this baby in fear that it may be gone just as fast as it came. I know its awful to think that way...but when you're constantly worried about losing your baby to begin with, it's impossible not to worry more when you hear something is abnormal.
I'm afraid i have to end this one here because i can't continue writing with something so heavy weighing on my mind.
Wish us luck..or whatever.
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