Friday, October 3, 2008

so FREAKIN' tired

You would think that i haven't slept in days when in fact i actually slept very well last night but apparently thats not enough for me right now. I haven't done anything today except walk down to Quizno's in the Town Center (which i couldn't eat because i felt so sick) and i came home and slept for like 4 hours. Ughhhh..this is so frustrating. I'm so tired of being so exhausted and nauseous that i just want to cry right now. I know that it'll get better soon (or atleast i hope!) and in the end it'll be totally worth it because there will be a sweet little baby to love..but man...it's so hard to see the big picture right now when all i can think about is passing back out and how much i wish i could just eat something.

Also, i don't know if this is just my imagination or if it's an actual "symptom" of pregnancy..but my vision has gotten so bad..i can't ever focus on anything. My vision is so blurry now and i just got new glasses in july...What the heck man.

I know i've said this a million times already but what i wouldn't give to be able to just eat something. Chinese food sounds so good..but only if its already in my belly. I don't know if that makes any sense or not but the thought of putting any food in my mouth grosses me out..yet i'm craving food. THIS MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL!!!!

AGHHHHHHHH!!!

I think everything just feels magnified because Dax closed 3 nights this week. and i've always hated when he has to close. He's gone sooo long and i'm soo lonely without him. I just want him home with me, and i know he feels the same way...though i dont think he really understands how bad i feel and i'm very sure he's tired of hearing me complain. oops :(

Our apt is a complete disaster right now. I've had zero energy to do anything even though i'm sitting here 5 days a week...and when i'm not tired i'm too nauseous to stand and do the dishes or vaccuum up the mounds of chewy fur that accumulates so easily. I swear our apt looks disgusting...

Last night we stayed up talking, which never happens..Dax is the type of person to come home and watch too many tv shows on dvd and then just go to bed..that's usually fine with me but sometimes i've just had enough and just want to actually talk. So i made sure we only watched one episode of Grey's Anatomy and we went and laid in bed and talked about baby..and baby names. Though it wasn't long before i got overly irritated at all his dumb jokes about baby names. I usually just roll my eyes whenever he says goofy things but i've been so irritable lately that now he's just making me angry!! Anyways, we really have no idea what to name the baby..and its girls names that we were struggling with the most. I love classic "old lady" names and he says they're too old ladyish...I don't think we'll ever decide! You never realize how hard it really is to name your child whenever you're not pregnant and just think oh i really like this name for my future child...You have to actually find a name you both love and then you have to think, crap, do i really want my child to be known as this for the rest of their lives. There really is a lot in a name...

GUH, i keep smelling the off-brand of Fruity Pebbles...though we don't even have those!! I hate getting mystery smells in my nose..it's so gross

Well, yet again i guess i've complained enough about how i feel..but really...as much as i've complained in these 3 posts, it's no where near as bad as i really feel. Does that make sense? Who cares, nothing makes sense in the mush brain i have now.

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