so so so so sooo miserable.

seriously. MISERABLE. like...i just want to be put in a coma and never wake up. not even once baby is here. i just feel depressed and angry today.

for the past few days..or weeks..fuck, i can't remember anymore, i've been just feeling so UGH. i'm semi-nauseous 24/7...i'm always hot and sweaty...i'm so tired because i don't sleep well and it just makes me super fucking cranky...my hands and feet hurt because they're retaining water..yet i'm barely swollen at all...like no one but me would be able to tell that i'm slightly swollen. yet it hurts SO bad. my contractions are getting stronger and more uncomfortable and they make me nauseous.
the other night i started having them every 4 minutes and i had really bad PMS type cramps...we called my doctor after i had started timing them and realized they were coming consistently but she said they tend to do that in the end, especially at night..but not to worry about them unless they're still there hours later and if they start hurting worse. they eventually went away almost 4 hours later. i know everytime i woke up in the night i would have one...so i dont know how often i was still having them while i slept, if at all. i know the next day i just felt awful. i don't know how the fuck i'm going to be able to handle moving in a couple of weeks and unpacking and getting all this stuff done. i'm gonna be full term by then so i could easily go into labor..i'm so scared of that happening...especially since i've been feeling so much worse, almost exactly how other women say they feel when they're going into labor soon. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE THIS BABY YET. we're so not ready.

alright well, fuck. now i'm just stressing myself out more and crying.

GREAT.